, 2 min read
Letters to my future husband. #1
This is my first official letter. A thought I can't get out of my head is, that you're somewhere in the world right now. Our relationship hasn't begun, and we don't know each other, but we will, at some point, be the most significant person in each other's lives.
I wonder where you are right now: another country, another state, next door. And what are you doing? Are you thinking about your future wife the way I think of you? I wonder when we'll meet and what circumstances will bring us together. Are you a stranger, a friend of a friend? Will you be the mechanic who fixes my car, the policeman who pulls me over, a barista working at a store I go to? Who will approach who? Will I be brave enough to say hello? How will we recognize one another? How will I know it's you? I don't want to get caught up with the wrong person and waste more time. I want to find you. I'm scared that the universe is keeping you until I'm ready, until I can fully stand on my own two feet and have the life and friendships I crave.
I feel like my world is too small here, and there's no way someone as extraordinary as you is here. Must I go out and find you, or will you find me? Are you looking for me somehow? It makes it better to know you were thinking of me under the stars or watching a sunset or listening to music, imagining being with me. I imagine you and us so clearly: your quiet sweetness, your tenderness, so safe. I just want to fall into you. We would be in our own little love bubble. I want to grow with you. I ache for you. I want to share my life with you. I plan to actually give you these letters, so you're reading this right now. What's your name? How old are you? You, what took you so long? Haha. Well, I am 26 years old. I've spent my entire life dreaming of you. It's hard to imagine this, but if you are reading this and we're together, go to Future me right now and give her the longest, most tender hug. Tell her how much you love her.
I write this at a coffee shop in Minnesota. Where are you now as you read this? I have so many questions. Who are you? What do you like? How old am I when we meet? 26, 27, 30, 35, 40, 61? Oh, God, I hope we have a lifetime together. I feel like the more I focus on my life and dreams and pursuing what I love, the more chance of meeting you.